


The Birth of a Reaper

by the2anime_fanatics



Series: The Reaper's Sister [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Funeral, Grim Reapers, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Prequel, Sister - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:16:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22961545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the2anime_fanatics/pseuds/the2anime_fanatics
Summary: Someone asked me what Scarlet's backstory was. How did she become the reaper she is today? Personally, I had never really thought about it. I just made the character and said "We're now going to pretend that reapers are born as reapers, because I'm lazy." Now that I know better, I decided to give her a proper story as to how she became who she is. So anyway, I hope you enjoy.This is a prequel, so I put it as part one in the series. You don't have to read them in any particular order, as this is about Scarlet's life before she became a reaper and how she died to become one.Trigger Warning: Suicide
Series: The Reaper's Sister [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650091
Kudos: 1





	The Birth of a Reaper

Sam was the one to find him.

I sat next to him in the church, staring at my hands through the tears swimming in my eyes and leaking down my face. I tried to listen to the priest's kind words about the deceased, but all I could think about was what it would have been like to find your best friend hanging from a rope in his bedroom.

A hand gently covered mine. A comforting touch from Sam. I looked up and saw his face was dry. He was giving me a knowing and comforting smile. I looked away, unable to understand. He wasn't going to cry for his friend? He wasn't going to cry for my brother?

I turned away from him and his dry eyes and looked toward the priest. He was looking at me with that sympathetic smile everyone else had when they saw me. When I didn't say anything, he spoke, probably repeating the question.

"Do you have anything you'd like to say, dear?"

I nodded, sniffling and wiping away tears as I stood, losing Sam's comforting touch. I made my way up the long isle (as I had refused to sit in the front row). On either side were people grieving or whispering to each other. Some said, "They really are related. That hair makes that perfectly clear." Others said, "Her parents weren't very creative naming _her_ , were they?" I ignored them and marched on, wanting to say what was on my mind.

I finally made it to the podium. The priest stepped aside and let me stand behind it. I looked up at the many people staring at me. Not enough to fill the church, but enough to see that my brother was loved. He had been many things in life, but popular had never been one of them.

I cleared my throat, then spoke. "Dad died when I was very little. My brother was twelve. I was not even two. Mom tried her best to make a life for the three of us. One day, seven years later, she decided she couldn't handle the stress anymore. She told my brother to read me to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, Grell was all I had left."

The tears returned when I mentioned his name. My big brother, the only family I had left, was gone. I shook my head to clear it, then continued. "Just like that, my big brother became my whole world. He took care of me when no one else would. I aimed to make him proud. He was everything to me. He _is_ everything to me. Now he's gone and left me, too. The same way our mother did six years ago. Why? What did I do wrong?"

My eyes closed as the tears came, pouring from my eyes like a waterfall. The last of my family was gone. The only thing left that I truly cared about had decided he didn't care enough about me to stay.

I felt an arm on mine, and I looked over to see the priest and his sympathetic smile that I was beginning to loathe. "Thank you, Scarlet. You may take your seat."

I began to walk back to my place next to Sam, but my eyes drifted back over to the open casket. Grell's red hair was as long and vibrant as ever. I smiled a little. At least no one had messed with his beloved hair.

*

The service ended pretty quickly after that. The priest told me to stand beside the casket for a bit, and I did so. I began to thank people that I didn't even know for their condolences, but only half heartedly. I didn't care how sorry these people felt for me. Nothing they said could bring my only family back. Luckily, Sam stood beside me the entire time. I was grateful for him. Had he not been there to keep me company, I would've lost my mind.

Finally, the last of the people left, and Sam and I were the only ones left in the room. I turned to look at my brother one last time, but Sam stopped me.

"I think you've stared at him long enough, Scar. Let's go get you something to eat, alright?"

I looked down at the floor. "I'm not hungry."

"How about something to drink, then? Do you want some water? Some juice?"

I shook my head.

He sighed. "I know it's hard, Scar. Loss is always hard. But you can't let it consume you. Grell wouldn't want to see you like this because of him."

My eyes began to water again. "I'm starting to think Grell doesn't care anything about me anymore. Maybe he never did."

Sam sighed. "It's a shame we'll never know why he did it, but I can promise you that it was nothing to do with you. He loved you more than anything."

"If he loved me that much, why did he leave me?!" I screamed, then dashed away from him and out of the church. I heard Sam call after me, but I ignored him and ran as fast as I could.

I finally stopped when I was no longer able to breathe. Each breath hurt as I tried to fill my lungs with air. As I panted, I looked around to see where I ended up. I had expected to be in the middle of town, or in an open field. What I hadn't expected was to be right in front of my parents' tombstone.

I stared at the rock in front of me. Of all places, how did I manage to find this? My eyes began to water yet again. "Mom, Dad... what should I do? Everyone I love is gone..."

Of course, the rock before me held no answers. It just bore the name Sutcliff.

I didn't know how long I stood there by the grave. Long enough to cry until my eyes held no more tears, and my body shook with every sob.

"Scar!" came a voice from behind me. I turned and stared through my burning eyes at Sam as he ran toward me.

He was panting when he reached me, and rested his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "I've been... searching... for hours..."

I looked back down at the grave. "Sorry," I mumbled.

Sam straightened himself. "No, there's no need to apologize. I'm sure you needed some time to yourself to think." He stared down at me for a minute, then smiled slightly. "Why don't you come over to my house for a little while. You really shouldn't go back to yours right now, especially not alone."

Having no will to fight with him, I simply nodded. Besides, I really didn't want to go back to a place full of happy memories that had probably all been fake from the start.

*

I ended up staying with Sam for several months. I refused to go back home and live on my own, and Sam wasn't going to let any orphanage take me. I became to him the sister he never had, and he tried to be the big brother I needed. But I didn't want him to be. I didn't need him to be.

"Scar, I'm home!" he called one day as he came through the front door.

I came to the small, dark room and saw him holding several boxes. He handed them to me.

"What's all this?" I asked, nearly straining from the weight of the items.

"Just some groceries," he replied, taking off his dark coat. "Can you put them away? I have something I need to take care of really quick."

I inwardly sighed and nodded. He smiled and messed up my hair before walking away.

I set the boxes on the floor and opened the top one. In it was some new clothes for me. I set the box aside to put in my room later and tore open the next one. This one held what I had been expecting by the term "groceries". It held flour, sugar, and some fruits.

I put the contents of the box away and then disposed of it. There was one box remaining that I had yet to open. I walked over to where I had left it lying on the floor and opened it carefully.

My eyes welled up with tears at the sight before me. In the large box was something I'd stared at for hours on end, thinking about what could have been if life had been different. If this world had not been so cold and cruel. If my mom hadn't succumbed to the darkness in her heart.

It was a family portrait. Mom had saved up for years to get a good painter to make it for us. I'd been about seven, barely able to hold still for the hours it took for the portrait to be made.

We were all dressed our best. Mom had made me where a blood red dress she had bought that matched my hair. She was wearing her best dress she had made for herself, and Grell, who had just been beginning to grow his hair out, was dressed in the most femine clothes he could get away with. He wore a red blouse that appeared to be unisex, and long black slacks. They were standing beside each other with me in the front. They both had a hand on my shoulder, and I was beaming while holding a daisy in my hands.

I wiped my eyes and pulled the portrait from the box. My mind swam with memories of my family that I had long forced from my brain. I had wanted to forget. I had wanted to be happy and live with Sam as if he was my only family I'd ever had or needed. I'd longed to forget the people who hadn't loved me enough to fight the darkness and stay by my side.

Sam came back into the room then. I felt his gaze on me as I wept on the floor.

"You've been trying so hard to ignore that they existed, Scar. Don't forget, they live on in you."

"Why should I care if they live on in me? What if I don't want them to?! They abandoned me!"

Sam shook his head. "That isn't how this works. Scar, they didn't want to leave you. They were depressed beyond imagination, and they wanted a way out of that sadness. They weren't thinking about what was going to happen to you. They just wanted out."

I was quiet.

Sam crouched down in front of me. "I'm not saying what they did was right. We both know that we could have helped at least Grell if we'd known he was that miserable. Just don't forget your brother. He was going through a lot, and I'm honestly surprised he hid it so well and lasted as long as he did."

I glanced up to meet his eyes. "So you know why he did it?"

Sam's eyes saddened. "Not exactly, but I do know many of his secrets. He was my best friend, after all."

I said nothing else. My eyes returned to the portrait, where I stared at my brother's face.

I heard Sam sigh as he stood. "I hate to leave you again, but I have something else I need to do before the day is over." He put his coat on once again. "I'll be back before dark."

I didn't say anything as he turned and left the house. My mind was still sorting through memories I had locked away. My mom was smiling as Grell and I played together. Grell was reading me my favorite stories. Mom was lying down in a pretty dress and wouldn't get up. Grell took care of me, taught me everything he knew. Grell was lying in a casket and wouldn't get up.

That was it. That was enough. I had to let these memories go. I needed to rid myself of these people for good. They hadn't loved me. They'd left me. No one ever had or ever would love me.

But I loved them. So much that the thought of never seeing them again shattered my heart. I stood, tears rushing down my face, with the portrait of my family held against my body in a tight embrace. I found some paper and a pencil, and wrote a note to Sam.

_"Dear Sam,_

_I'll remember them, just as you asked. But I refuse to live without them._

_Thank you for caring for me._

_Sincerely,_

_Scarlet Sutcliff"_

I laid the note on the dinner table, certain he would see it, then went to my room, still clinging to the portrait.

And I never came back out. 


End file.
